RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Internet nuts

I’m gonna go ahead and continue on with my theme of presenting obscure and varied subjects that few actually care about.  My intention is to present them in an entertaining way.  Today: How to invalidate an internet conspiracy theory in a page or less. 

I know, this sounds too easy.  Or maybe your of the Runmsfeldian school of the “absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”  Or maybe that doesn’t make any sense and I just wanted to drop that quote in there.  But anyway, back to the conspiracy. 

A man in rural Virginia is sitting on secret knowledge.  Illuminati bankers (aka evil Jewish overlords) have hidden 27.5 trillion dollars somewhere, but for some reason they forgot where they put it.  OK, sounds plausible so far.  Apparently, this man in rural Virginia is the only person alive who knows where it is (that’s why he hasn’t been killed).  But not only that, he has been entrusted by a sympathetic Virginia judge to hold the money for safekeeping.  The man wants to turn the cash back over to the American people.  What a hero! 

 All checks out so far.  But then our hero drops this line:  

“Dutch (President Reagan} always intended the money be returned to the American people to be used for roads, schools and health care.”

Now that doesn’t sound right at all.  Reagan?  Health Care?  Schools? HAHAHAHA!!! What a fucking whack-job.  The conspiracy continued on for god knows how many pages, but I stopped reading after that.  People – when you’re making shit up, you gotta maintain credibility.