RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Shit tossing fascist ape

So this evening I’m a committed recluse. I was inside here eating some buffalo tacos with homemade guacamole and watching CSPAN and the UN is giving an incident by incident report of the steadily deteriorating Middle East… that shit was too depressing for dinner, so I switched to PCN, the Pennsylvania version of CSPAN. There I see Rudolph Giuliani stumping for Lynn Swann.

Fortunately for PA, Swann displayed the political savvy of a personal injury lawyer and the vision of a Democrat. Over the course of the press conference he must have spoken at least a couple hundred words, but I’ll be damned if I know what in the fuck he actually said. There was something about caring about the people of Pennsylvania. There was something else about taxes and then a thing about how PA looks at the little picture - which complicates things - because if you stop and look at the big picture, things are really very simple? And then some more about taxes, but not that they were high, or low… but more that he was aware that they existed.

Meanwhile Giuliani, the supposed star of the show came off as an unprepared, arrogant, lying douchebag, with none of the charisma to back any of his transparent bullshit up. Woefully unprepared for his appearance, Giuliani was just stood there making shit up; like when he said that Swann was one of his sons favorite football players of all time… because you know… every little kid from New York idolizes wide receivers from Pittsburgh who retired years before they were born.

But moving into the political spectrum… actually none of that really made an impression besides Giuliani’s self-promoting moment when he announced his ideas on running for president.

But anyway, didn’t everyone hate Giuliani until about September 10th, 2001? And what the fuck has he done since then? And for that matter, what did he do on September 11th, besides being in the right place at a catastrophically bad time? If a chimp with a sash that said ‘mayor’ on it had bounded around ground zero and thrown its feces at random cab drivers, people would have flocked around it like frightened little lambs. Does that give that shit tossing ape the legitimacy to run for president… especially if it got its mayor sash by acting like a deranged fascist?

In closing, if Swann wins this race, things are a lot more fucked than I thought… and that’s saying a lot. Ed Rendell - take him or leave him - is about as honest a public servant as you’re gonna find at the governor’s level. Yes, he’s a politician, but when you see him speak about public education and about the work he does for the people of this state, you can believe that he thinks about and cares about the things he’s saying. I know this because I’ve watched the man for years. No matter where he speaks and to what audience, to 100 people or on national TV, he always shows that same passion. He speaks from honest to god conviction about things he actually believes in. Think of Bill Clinton, only balder, sweatier, uglier, jewisher and actually sincere about the shit that comes out of his mouth.

That’s all for now.