RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Fuck the Amish

There’s one surefire way to avoid having someone find out that you’ve been writing smack about them online. Write about the Amish. They don’t have computers or fancy internets… or lights. Even if God himself transmitted this post directly into the mind to some coke addled cracker at a 17th century hoe-down, what are they gonna do, ride a buggy to Philadelphia and challenge me to a duel? And those fuckers with their beards and their puppy mills and their quaint racist hatred can eat a fucking battery.

You know what my favorite thing to do in Amish country is? I ride around in my car and shoot people with a tazergun. Fuck those no-internet-reading inbred sheepfuckers.

* This post was meant in satire and aside from the last 2 sentences, entirely untrue. I hold no animosity towards the Amish nation or their bizarre culture.