RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Black Friday Insanity!

Literally. What do you get for the person who has everything? This morning I was thrilled to see that Future Horizon’s Inc. still sells the hyper-dimensional resonator, a machine full of dials, switches, head bands and time coils that allows users to travel through the usually restrictive constraints of the space time continuum. No longer is your body and your human reality an impediment to experiencing time as it was meant to be experienced!

Future Horizons sells this ‘working’ time machine for $590. Quoting the product page, “This is no joke!! Plugs into a normal 110 volt outlet.”

Years ago, I had a link to Future Horizons on my first ever webpage. I got an email from a woman asking what my experiences were with it. This lady claimed to have become vaguely unstuck in time after strapping it to her head and fiddling with the dials. I wish I still had those emails, but sadly they’ve been lost to the mists of time… or have they?

I was also happy to see that Future Horizons has expanded their product line. They’ve got all sorts of crazy shit from UFO detectors and Ion Phasors, to the cure to all diseases and HBO descramblers. For your convenience, here are more diagrams of the HDR: