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confession
Outlined herein is a terrible character flaw that I’m trying to work on. It’s completely unfair, unfounded and represents a personal prejudice. It causes me to judge by appearance, weighing my opinions of an individual based solely on a set of physical characteristics. I’m trying to work through this problem and hope that someday I can overcome it.
But until then, I have to admit that I have a distaste for straight but waify white boys in their 20’s who wear clean jeans and well kempt peacoats. Now for those that know me, you might be saying what the fuck are you talking about? You’re a 20 something white male and while you’re not waify and you don’t wear particularly clean clothes, but you do wear a peacoat. To you I say that there’s a difference. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s there. It’s something to do with class, literary appreciation and the amount of dirt on your clothing. If you have to condense the difference into a single descriptive word, that word would be comfort.
Maybe it’s that I see these types in used bookstores, produce shops and the box office line for “Children of Men” and I think to myself that had I grown up in a circumstance of greater comfort, in a place without sarcasm, or crackheads climbing through my window and stealing my Nintendo, then maybe I too would be one of them. My prejudice then is just a defense mechanism… some relic that triggers a primal response against my own being.
I once saw a crow battling its own reflection in a tinted glass window. It struck at the glass with increasing ferocity and confusion, seeing the fear in its opponent, but unable to hurt it. In turn the crow grew angrier and more frightened. Its opponent matched it at every turn, coordinating every strike with identical force and intent. I don’t know what ever happened with that crow, but I often think of it, imagining that to an alien race humanity appears to act in a similar capacity.
But then I think to myself, these are the assholes who hear the lead singer of the Decemberists and don’t feel like an icepick has suddenly been jabbed through their eardrums. Then I wonder if we really are that similar.
I really could go on and write another 50,000 words on this, but that would just be insane and nobody in their right mind would read it, so that’s as good as a conclusion as there’s going to be… for now.
5 Comments
1. Mike replies at 25th January 2007, 11:50 pm :
1) Children of Men was great. So good, in fact, that it made me hate V for Vendetta even more than I did already. If you see only one anti-bush movie this year, make it Children of Men.
2) The new Decemberists album is equally good. Really, I wanted to dislike it. The last one was fine, but after a while I started to feel funny liking it. Too something. Precious isn’t right. But then Kaela bought the new one and now I’m engrossed. Play Sons & Daughters followed by the Mt. Goats Quito and it’s quite a revelation.
3) When I turned 30 I decided that while people in their 20s might do some interesting things, they are best ignored. They are pretty and energetic and idealistic, but god how that drives me insane. I’m an optimistic guy, but even I can’t match a 26 year old with a Holga and a shirt from Threadless.
4) We need to meet up for lunch some time.
2. steve replies at 26th January 2007, 10:01 am :
1. I was actually in the line for Pan’s Labyrinth (before it was cool) when I witnessed the Children of Men scene… however I do really, really want to see it.
2. I just can’t agree. There are many people whom I deeply respect and even people that I love, that think the Decemberists are great, but I just can’t agree. To me, that singer’s voice represents all that’s wrong and evil in semi-popular music.
3. I’m still in my 20’s, but I feel the same way about college student activists. They do however fulfill an important role in society.
4. Agreed. Not today though, too cold and with this damn Royal Visit tomorrow, I’m ordering in today.
3. Phillybits replies at 28th January 2007, 6:51 pm :
First off, was good seeing you, if briefly, the other day crossing at 45th.
Secondly, I’ll forgive you the peacoat just so long as you don’t start popping your collar up while wearing shorts, flip-flops, and pushing your hair into a mound that slightly resembles a pseudo-mohawk.
Or being all emo.
You pick…
4. liza replies at 1st February 2007, 6:51 pm :
hi hon,
this sounds like a certain friend of mine. and, you’re right, judging the appearances of others is a flaw, something to be worked on, cuz you never know the whole story. love you…
5. steve weinik replies at 1st February 2007, 7:00 pm :
Although I know what you’re thinking, this satirical tirade was inspired by the site of a complete stranger that I saw lurking around Molly’s Books in the Italian Market.
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