RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

best place to local crack whores in philadelphia

The title of this post is the most intriguing search result that led a wayward web surfer to this site sometime in the last 36 hours. Most of the time I wouldn’t touch my strange search results with a 10-foot pole. The same goes for this one, but this time I’ve decided to help in another way.

Why? In many ways this is a local site, devoted in large part to all things Philadelphian. To exclude crack whores would be wrong. They’re just part of the rich tapestry that makes up this great city.

And before you go thinking something nasty, please note that there’s a word missing in that search term. Maybe they wanted to know the best place to “help” crack whores in philadelphia. In fact the missing word(s) could be almost anything. It could be meet, photograph, buy dinner for, strangle or even fall deeply in love with.

And yes it could also be “fuck.”

But anyway, I knew someone who while nearing his low point slept with dozens of Philadelphia’s rock smoking prostitutes. Because he was at this low point, it was sort of acceptable in some twisted way and I don’t judge him for it. As a result however, I’ve been instilled with a certain knowledge that I wouldn’t otherwise have. That kid has some crazy stories.

So a note to that anonymous searcher.

Where have you looked? Unfortunately, these ladies are everywhere. (I’m saying “unfortunately” in a empathic liberal way and not in an unfeeling and hate filled conservative one) So searcher, try skulking around under the el tracks anywhere north of Berks station. Hang around at an A-Plus in a neighborhood with a lot of gun violence. Hey, maybe you’ll get ‘lucky’ and meet someone right in center city. (*note if a skinny woman incessantly licking her lips asks you if you need a date, there you go)

I hope this information helps at least 1 of my readers.

Oh, remember to bring enough cash for a bottle of Yuengling at an Old City bar. That should be more than enough to gitter done.

For tomorrow I promise something more family friendly. That’s all for now.