RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Man am I in trouble

I’ve decided that from now on, there will be a slight change in format. During times when I’ve got nothing interesting to say or to share, I’ll just make shit up. Fortunately, I don’t have to do that today. My life has been crazy interesting over the last few weeks.

A lot of you know that you can order prescription drugs online without a doctor’s approval. That’s old news. It’s also how I’ve been rolling in oxys and the hundred dollar bills their white collar addicts trade for them. Between that business and a side thing with some pills and a local private school, I’ve been raking in the cash. You can make a killing selling meds. It’s just nuts.

What I didn’t know was that you can also buy drugs like cocaine online. Not just the coca leaves or plants, I’m talking refined and cut shit straight out of Colombia. What a crazy world! I’ve had my eye on that 15m. penthouse at the new Liberty II condos, so I thought, why they fuck not?

Some people make their $ on ebay selling antiques and shit, but my tastes are too refined to support my lifestyle doing that. I’m used to sipping Cristal in my BMW coupe. I roll with the high class. Plus if you ebay your income, need to know what you’re buying and selling. You need to develop skills and shit. I don’t have time for that. I need my cash NOW.

So that’s why I dumped half my savings into 12 kilos of Colombian coke. Everything was cool, I just shouldn’t have had it all shipped to my day job. The Fed-Ex guy was fine, but someone at work took it upon themselves to open the package. The next thing I know the FBI was dragging me out in handcuffs. I couldn’t believe it and I was pretty upset, but it looked totally cool. I like giving off that air of mystery around my colleagues.

But anyway, I can’t believe it! My business is ruined and my lawyer says I could be in a lot of trouble. I might even have to do jail time or community service. This sucks.