RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

important investment opportunity

With stock market instability threatening my assets, I – like many citizens – have been spending the last few weeks considering alternative investment strategies. These are uncertain times. Even gold and other precious metals have been shedding value like a timber wolf on a Bermuda vacation.

But anyway, that’s brought me to the world of art. Art, while symbolic of the achievements of the human mind and creative spirit can also be a rock solid money-maker. But with so many choices and with so much worthless art to sink my money into, where will my money be safe? Fortunately I’ve got an answer.

For a paltry $1500 U.S. dollars, one can buy a life-size plaster cast of Jimi Hendrix’s erect penis (pictured) from Chicago based artist, Cynthia Caster. Caster has a large collection of rock-star and celebrity genetalia, but it’s Hendrix that truly stands out. From her website:

description:
The Godfather of Whopper Choppers in my collection! Because this was one of my first shots at plaster casting, the end result came out kind of gnarly. I prematurely cracked the mold open, only to find a still-moist, broken cast inside. So yes, Jimi did in fact, break the mold! But thanks to Elmer’s Glue, I managed to reconnect the head to the shaft to the testicles. Very statuesque and antique-looking; like Grecian art. The Canadian underground paper Georgia Straight called it the “Penis de Milo.” There’s no denying that Jimi towers over most of my collection. His long, thick shaft combined with his disproportionately small head brings a shudder to the spinal cord!

memories:
Jimi’s pubes got stuck in the mold because I didn’t lube them enough. I spent the next 15 minutes pulling out each individual hair one by one, while he had intercourse with just the right sized repository — his negative impression! This unexpected delay made him late for his show that evening, where he was seen scratching his crotch a lot onstage.

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Now while this bit here might read as tongue in cheek, I am absolutely 100% serious about the investment value here. Caster has what no one else has and what may be one of the 20th centuries most important cultural monuments. Since his death, Hendrix has been deified by his fans. Because of his transcendental talents, Hendrix is regarded as a living god. Can you imagine what a plaster cast of Jesus’s erect penis would be worth on the open market today? Mohammad? The Buddha? Abraham Lincoln? That’s what were talking here. Buy it!