[dovate.com] » 2007 » December
Finally, the end of the year list everyone has been waiting for. Here are the 79 most interesting search terms that led people to dovate.com in 2007. Why 79? Why not? In addition to being an interesting lens into the collective consciousness of the internet browsing public, many of them also make excellent band names:
79. space jesus
78. abstract cop
77. pictures of fetus after using colon cleanse
76. what is that hippie smell
75. scum derivation
74. david hasselhoff colon irrigation
73. colon cleanse on 2nd in market phila
72. ’smiling anus’
71. my broken mind psychosis why
70. looking at a flickering fluorescent light
69. hippopotamus shit territory
68. artificial girl illusion
67. yearly deaths by donkey kicks
66. fetal skull for sale
65. bigfoot fucking females on porn
64. unaligned dragon
63. is licking anus harmful?
62. is my girlfriend a prostitute?
61. homemade squirrel spray repellent
60. how to repel dogs off of my property with chemicals
59. hippopotamus elephant mating video clip
58. red bellied woodpecker and the bible
57. chimps attack
56. schnauzer genitals
55. piss drinking indigestion
54. nude pictures of girls hunting grouse
53. what makes keith haring so fucking great?
52. neo swank dresses
51. metaphysical vortex
50. metaphysical bigfoot
49. arnold schwarzenegger really is reptillian
48. short clown ghost stories
47. goth pony
46. crack whore repellent
45. how many people goes through the tollbooth on the benjamin franklin bridge
44. how to kick off mastrubating
43. bigfoot cock
42. light dispelling darkness nj archive weird
41. ideal duck cages
40. i saw my cleaning lady naked
39. methamphetamine parasite terrorists
38. billy pilgrim diagnosis
37. sublime drunken clown
36. is it safe to eat my own ejaculate
35. replica rubber fetuses
34. hit by watermelon dies of heart attack
33. foodery cat
32. falcon cock porn
31. difference between mummer and mutter
30. yearly deaths from spoons
29. high definition pumpkins
28. spork utensil statistics
27. gay shiny
26. alabama crack whores
25. steel reserve hoodie
24. why are birds crows seagulls pigeons dangerous to man?
23. slaughterhouse 5 candybar
22. suicide pigeons
21. minimalist christmas tree
20. can african elephants camouflage themselves
19. military industrial complex photo archive
18. arsenio hall blacklist jews
17. verbal communication amish
16. how would a human being fare on the planet saturn
15. do male testicle stink?
14. buy hitech chastity belt made of steel
13. shakespeare schwarzenegger
12. what is common between martha stewart and stephen hawking
11. porn apes
10. seaworld intangible elements
9. barak obama for klingon high council leader
8. how i lost my job girlfriend apartment rabbit food
7. korean screaming pussy
6. my 20 month old son’s breath stinks
5. anus picket pony
4. gay hangouts to prostitute my body
3. clown gags and teenagers
2. proper attire for dayton ohio cocktail party
1. obama and his correlation to the number 666
I’ve been a fan of ASCII crap for a while and frequently use various ASCII generators to waste time. Today Lifehacker brought to my attention the coolest ASCII generator yet. After dropping a few random photos into it, I made ASCII Toynbee tile. I believe it’s the first ever. Click on the tile for a cooler version of it.
PHILADELPHIA – A small animal - likely a squirrel - was brutally murdered by an unidentified Coopers Hawk at approximately 8AM this morning. The violence occurred in an unnamed alley near the 1900 block of Pine Street in center city Philadelphia. The motive was apparently hunger as the hawk spent the 45-60 minutes consuming the unidentified animal.
The hawk lingered on a fencepost after finishing its meal, scanning the alley and even unsuccessfully attacking a second squirrel. The hawk then defecated on a patio and was last seen heading east. The following photographs were captured throughout the incident:
—
—
—
—
I just realized that I never posted this. As I was being born back in 1979, a Philadelphian came across this passage on pgs 139-142 of Arnold Toynbee’s autobiography, Experiences changing his life forever:
—
Man’s situation is, indeed, paradoxical. Man has a mind that can comprehend infinite time and space, and he has a conscience that can pass moral judgments; yet prima facie it looks as if these spiritual facilities are dependent on their survival on their association with the life of a short-lived physical body. If certain parts of the body have been generated with a lack or an insufficiency of certain physical ingredients, the human beings spiritual faculties never come to flower, or at least never fully; and, if certain parts of a normal person’s body run down before death, the person’s spiritual faculties automatically fail. In any case at death the spiritual faculties disappear from this phenomenal world; and the widely and tenaciously held belief in the immortality of the soul after death is not borne out by any cogent evidence. Moreover, our bodies though ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’, are, in physical terms, specks of dust on the surface of a speck of dust called the Earth which is a satellite of another speck of dust called the Sun; and our sun is a speck of dust in our galaxy, which is a speck of dust in a universe that may be infinite in terms of space-time.
However, the dust of which a human body is composed, quantitatively trivial though it is, is an integral part of the inconceivably vast physical universe; and, when, after death, the body dissolves into its physical elements, these elements themselves are not annihilated. Death has destroyed the organism, that, for a brief time, had succeeded in maintaining itself as a puny counter-universe; but the physical materials of which the dissolved human body was composed at the moment of death have not been destroyed through ceasing to be incorporated temporarily in an organic physical structure. They are continuing to exist as parts of the physical universe, though this no longer in an organic form.
Science has been able to ascertain this, because science’s earliest researches, and its greatest successes so far, have been in the field of reality in its physical aspect. In our own day, science has made a start with the exploration of reality in its psychic aspect as well; but psychological science is still in its infancy, and, though the possibilities, opened up by it, of an increase in knowledge and understanding of the Universe are potentially enormous, it is still too early for us to be able to foresee whether these possibilities are going to be converted into achievements of anything like the same order of magnitude as science’s already accomplished achievements in the physical field. Meanwhile, the study of the spiritual aspect of human nature, on which Western science has embarked only recently, has been pursued, by now, for at least 2500 years, in the Indian practice of contemplation.
Already by the Buddha’s day the school of Indian philosophy to which the Buddha himself was opposed had reported that the essence of a human being’s spiritual aspect is identical with the ultimate spiritual reality behind and beyond the phenomenon of the Universe. If the intuition on which this report is based has penetrated to the truth, this signifies that the spiritual aspect of a human being, like his physical aspect, is an integral part of a universe that, in its own dimension may be ‘vast’ (an unavoidable loan-word from our vocabulary for describing physical reality) as the physical universe is; and from this it would seem to follow that, at death, the aspect of a human being that we call his spirit or his soul ceases to be the ephemeral separate personality that it has been during the now dead human being’s lifetime, but continues to exist as the ultimate spiritual reality with which, even in bodily life on Earth, it has never ceased to be identical in the spiritual vision of observers who have had the inward eye to see.
If this is the truth, ‘matter’ and ’spirit’ may each be infinite in its own dimension; and every human being will be a point at which these two perhaps infinite entities intersect each other. We do not understand what the relation between them is. I suspect that their apparent duality may be an illusion produced by some feature in the structure of our minds that diffracts an indivisible reality into fractions which we do not know how to re-combine.
Human nature presents human minds with a puzzle which they have not yet solved and may never succeed in solving, for all that we can tell. The dichotomy of a human being into ’soul’ and ‘body’ is not a datum of experience. No one has ever been, or ever met, a living human soul without a body, though, as I have noted, we do meet living human bodies in which the soul has been virtually extinguished or has never come to flower. The partition of the human personality between two supposedly different and incommensurable orders of being is a mental act of human intellects, and it is a disputable one. Present-day medical and psychological research seems to agree in indicating that a human personality is an indivisible psychosomatic unity. The psychic aspect of its life cannot be properly understood if this is artificially isolated from the physical aspect, nor, conversely, is the physical aspect intelligible in isolation from the psychic aspect. This is not a new discovery; it is a rediscovery of a once widely recognized truth. It is the assumption implied in the stories in the Gospels of acts of healing performed by Jesus. The same assumption is implied in the Christian Church’s belief that Jesus rose from the dead physically as well as spiritually, and that all human beings who have ever lived and died are destined to experience a bodily, as well as spiritual, resurrection on the Day of Judgment. Someone who accepts - as I myself do, taking it on trust - the present-day scientific account of the Universe may find it impossible to believe that a living creature, once dead, can come to life again; but, if he did entertain this belief, he would be thinking more ’scientifically’ if he thought in the Christian terms of a psychosomatic resurrection than if he thought in the shamanistic terms of a disembodied spirit.
Yet there is evidence that an embodied human spirit can be en rapport with another embodied human spirit by means of psychic communication that does not make use of the physical apparatus of the senses of either of the two persons who are en rapport or of any of the physical media, outside human bodies, that are used in our indisputably physical means of communication such as wireless radio or wire-conducted telephone and telegraph. I myself have been a first-hand witness of numerous successful experiments in communication between Gilbert Murray and his daughter Rosalind, my first wife, in which G.M. described scenes, some from real life and some from the fictitious world of plays and novels, which Rosalind had previously chosen and had described to the other people in the room while G.M was not only out of the room but was far enough away for it to have been impossible for him to have picked up theses messages by even a hypersensitive accentuation of the physical sense of hearing - an accentuation of it to a degree that would surpass any case of which there is any credible record.
This first-hand evidence has convinced me that extra-sensory perception is a reality. Gilbert Murray, who possessed this faculty in an unusually high degree, held that, in varying degrees, it is possessed and is used by all human beings. His view was that, in a conversation, something more passes between the parties than is conveyed by the spoken words. Our words, he suggested, are supplemented, on the fringe, by communication through extra-sensory perception. He also suggested that, before our ancestors acquired the power of articulate speech, which employs the physical apparatus of parts of the human body and the physical medium of waves that we hear as sounds, these speechless pre-men or proto-men had already been able to communicate with each other (as any social animals must be able), and that, at this previous stage, extra-sensory perception, which has since been pushed out by language into the fringe, had been the central means of communication to which cries and gestures were supplementary. If this was true of man’s ancestors before they acquired the power of articulate speech, it must be true, a fortiori, of the social species of non-human animals.
If extra-sensory perception is a proven reality (and I am convinced by first-hand evidence that it is), its existence indicates that a human being may, after all, not be the psychosomatic monolith that he appears to be in the light of present-day medical and psychological research. Human nature is still mysterious, and the mystery extends, beyond human nature, to the whole Universe, in both its spiritual and physical aspect, and to the ultimate reality in and behind and beyond the phenomena.
Many years ago, I read an internet tale of a man who claimed to be the gatekeeper of an interdimensional vortex. That vortex was found somewhere under I-287 in Wanaque, NJ. Now before you discount it as fraud, consider this:
If an interdimensional vortex were to exist, wouldn’t New Jersey be the most likely place for it to be? And if that gatekeeper were a native New Jersyian, wouldn’t he look a lot like the man pictured at the top of this post? Makes you think.
But anyway, the aliens that Bryan Williams, aka Sargel18 best gets along with are the Ewoks… I mean the Endorians. Who are the Endorians:
SARGEL18: The Endorians are beings of the astral plane. They are the counter to the negative aliens which I call the Dragons. Both are reptile in nature and evolution. People forget that there has to be balance in the universe, this is how the Creator (God) set it up. So where there is good, there is evil. Which again is just a perception. There is no good and evil, only there IS. But for human reference I will call the Endorians good and the Dragons bad. There is too much information for a web page about the Endorian beings, it would fill a whole book. But I will tell you this, they have been with us since modern humans have existed. They told me that it was them who taught Sanskrit to the Sumerians, and that there was evidence of their people 90 miles northwest of Paris in caves. I have yet to go there and find out if this is true.
When in fuzzy little corporal form, I hear they also throw wild parties in their North Jersey tree houses. But anyway, interested? If so, you can take the drive up the Garden State Parkway to check it out for yourself, or you can just click on the pig:
.First of all, yes I was browsing man on man casual encounters on the Egyptian craigslist page. Why? I was wondering what would be there. Here’s what I found:
No matter what comes of it, that encounter is serious short story material. A gay Texan cruising in Cairo? Epic! I bet he’s a closeted defense contractor who will fall in love with a similarly covert Islamic extremist. Together they’ll overcome their differences, apart they’ll resume their paths of destruction.
At one point, this 1400 foot “building” was proposed for central London. Presented without further comment… wow:
On Monday I took the day off work. I had nothing planned and was pretty well caught up with photography, so I decided to tackle a project that I’ve been knocking around in my head for a couple years. I decided to make gumbo. After scouring recipes, I chose this one:
I made the roux in the oven and forgot to buy chicken, but otherwise followed the stock and main recipe pretty faithfully. the gumbo turned out very well (next time I won’t forget the chicken) but turned out to be an unexpected pain in the ass to shop for. Did you have any idea how hard it is to gather ingredients for a gumbo recipe here in Philadelphia? Now maybe if it were noon on a Sunday, I could have bought everything on 9th street and maybe if I didn’t mind spending 3x as much, I could have gotten everything at Whole Foods, but this was my experience. Start at Reading Terminal and click on the flags for descriptions:
View Larger Map
So it seems that the Beautiful Mary Posters aren’t just a Philly thing. Posters have been reported in Los Angeles and Pittsburgh and photographed in Philadelphia, Chicago and New Orleans. So it looks like we have a mystery. While not as captivating as the Toynbee tiles, it is no doubt fascinating. The posters are likely created by 1 person, but are they distributed through a network? Is it a prank? The author of this blog talks about his encounter with the mad poster-maker:
Getting the poster from Mr. Crazy was a nice little adventure. I was walking back to the office, chillin outside on a gorgeous day, and I see this bummy looking white dude, older, with classic, white Elmer’s glue bottle in hand, hobbling back from a green lightpost on Jackson and Franklin, now plastered in Lohan Mother Marys. I size up the situation, pause for a sec, and ask the guy kindly, sir, if I could have one of those. He gives me the requisite once over, suspecting me to be getting him in trouble somehow. No, badge, check; okay, mini-rant time. “Oh, so you want one of these? One of these will save one thousand people from going to hell and you want one all to yourself, huh?” Uh-oh, I somehow wasn’t expecting such crazy. “Uh, it’s cool. I don’t need one.” Walk away, avoid crazy. Nope. Dude changes his mind. “What the hell, there’s only so many good people in the world…have one.” Whoa, awesome: crazy thinks I’m good peoples. I feel warm inside, oddly singular, special; crazy people are great. “Me and my friend from [St. something, crazy church group presumably] we trying to hand these out earlier today and people wouldn’t take ‘em.” I say thanks–boy, were they missing out–and amble away, crossing the street with the rest of the office people of the midwest, scoping out my find. He forgave me of my sins on the way out.
If you’re interested, new posters were put up last week on Broad between Pine and Walnut. Keep your eyes out, they’re everywhere.
New Orleans:
Chicago:
“So do you get a lot of gunshots?”
“Yeah, it’s great” he slipped.
He didn’t actually mean that gunshots were great, just that the power they generate is like candy for a paramedic. It was an accidental acknowledgement.
This was the first time I talked to Ben (name changed) since he started working as a medic. His home base is 19th and Oxford in North Philadelphia, but because of the critical ambulance shortages that I’m sure you’ve all read about, he’s responded to calls from as far away as Blue Bell.
He works 2, 10-hour day shifts, then 2 overnight. He says no one can understand what the job feels like except for other medics. He says that it’s not a job, it’s a constant, unending nightmare. He says that all citizens should be conscripted for a tour of duty in the back of an ambulance. He loves it.
At 3 in the morning he and his partner try for 20 minutes to pick up a 400lb woman in Olney. She’s sitting in the street, unresponsive. She’s fully conscious, high on PCP, alert, eyes darting everywhere, but she doesn’t respond to verbal commands and she won’t get up on her own. People on the street stop to watch the show.
It’s 4 in the morning, just an hour or so before the morning rush hour on Delaware Ave. By the time it starts, the road will be clear and no one will have any idea that a couple hours earlier, dozens of people worked half the night pulling a car out of the river. Things will look normal where just a few hours before medics measured the vital signs of a man they took out of that car. He’d been under water for hours and their job was to make his death official.
It’s the middle of the night on an alley street in North Philadelphia. There’s another ambulance there, but they’re on a different call. Someone was beaten, but that’s not your job. Your job is across the street where someone is having a heart attack. There are 2 crowds for 2 emergencies and people running around between them. You’re 22 years old and you’re the one in charge.
In all these situations, the police, the firefighters, the injured, the dying, their friends and their mothers look to you to tell them what to do. It’s 3 in the morning, you haven’t slept for 36 hours, people are screaming, people are dying, there’s vomit and blood everywhere, you’ve been on the job for less than a month and you’re the one in charge. Shifts are 10 hours, 4 days a week, all hours of the day and night, plus overtime. It’s not a job, it’s a nightmare.
–
What I took out of our conversation was this: The next time your job is stressing you out, remind yourself to shut the fuck up.
Beginning as early as 1980 and ending about a decade later, wheatpaste fliers were glued to bus stations, Communist Workers Party and USA Today newspaper boxes, lampposts, signs and other public surfaces across center city Philadelphia. No photos are known to exist, but one witness remembered,
To my continual regret, I never copied down or photographed any of the
handbills. I recall them starting out with a preamble that pretty
much said the same thing as the street plates (”Toynbee’s Ideas in
Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001…”), and that there was definitely a shortwave
radio frequency mentioned, but beyond that… it was 1989 and I was 17
years old.
Based off of this shred of then 17-year-old information, the Ressurrect Dead documentary team was able to find out what those handbills actually said. Uncovering the content of a wheatpaste flier more than 15 years after it appeared based solely off of the information in the quote above was a fucking miracle.
Today, photographs are cheap and information is easy to find. Because information is now free and widespread, scores of people are out there documenting everything and providing it free of charge to anyone on the planet.
A couple months ago, I noticed some bizarre wheatpaste fliers in center city Philadelphia. All of them had lots of text and all of them were almost completely destroyed. I assumed they were just another example of ‘regular’ street art and didn’t pay them much mind.
A couple weeks ago Justin Duerr started photographing these “Beautiful Mary” posters. It turns out that of all the things they are, regular isn’t one of them. The intact messages are… interesting. Here are photos from 5th and Girard, Broad and Spring Garden and Broad near Snyder. Thank you Justin for taking them:
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
And in case you’re curious what the Toynbee wheatpaste fliers said:
Arnold Toynbee’s conception of the colonization of
outer space as depicted in the movie “2001: A SPACE
ODYSSEY” on the ability of science to bring every dead
molecule of every human body of history back to life
on the gigantic planet of JUPITER.We beg the people of this community to accept us
as we have been denied acceptance by the media and
press.Please write us at P.O. Box xxxxx Phila. 19xxx
(U.S.A) and TUNE x.xx Megacycles (xx meters) short
wave (Saturday nights, midnights ).”
Ever wonder what a 13 gigapixel photo would look like? Here’s one of Harlem:
http://www.harlem-13-gigapixels.com/
Hope you have a fast connection.
As I walked into work today, I realized that hippies rarely if ever suffer through an existential crisis. Maybe I’m just stereotyping, but I think I’m right. I can’t imagine some hippie rolling off his dirty futon some early afternoon, drawing deep off some heady nugs that he packed the night before, turning on some jamming tunes, cooking up some scrambled eggs and then collapsing into a ball of anxiety, struggling for breath as he ponders the meaninglessness of life.
I guess it’s possible, but it’s definitely not common. Much more likely is the hippie staring at the eggs in his pan, when a ray of light that he confuses with the divine cuts through the glass and refracts into a rainbow vision of Jesus Christ. The rainbow Christ causes the hippie to explore a copy of the bible that he picked up for 50 cents at a yard sale 3 years before. The bible draws him in and he realizes that the movie, the Matrix was really just about Jesus. The hippie becomes born again on-the-spot and never looks back.
I’m not going to become a hippie and I haven’t collapsed into any balls of anxiety, but this morning as I walked into work, I wondered why I was doing it. I stood in Rittenhouse Square watching people in suits and people in hardhats and construction belts trudging thoughtlessly towards their respective livelihoods. I decided that I’d rather build something solid like a tall building that I could point to it and say “I installed the electrical system in that tower,” than put on a suit and make tedious documents, legal promises and enough money so that I could live in the tall building.
All in all, I’d rather not do either of those things. I decided that I didn’t want to continue on to work at all. I wanted to go to a bookstore and read for a while, then maybe have a cup of coffee and catch up on the news. After that I’d go for a walk. It would be late afternoon and the light, wind and cold temperatures would make for some great photos. I’d stand on a pleasing block and shoot men in suits as they clutched their hats and walked headfirst into the wind.
I thought of all of this as I walked into work.
Before November’s search awards are presented, I have an announcement for my dovate.com shareholders.
Last month, tragedy struck the site. For reasons that I’m not sure of and don’t care to investigate, my google rank plummeted. My search hits, which reached an October peak around 1600, (that’s 55 misguided freaks arriving daily) dropped to a November total of 610. For some reason, my google images hits are as aggressive as ever, with thousands of hits a month. Unfortunately, I don’t get search term reports for image searches.
While all these stats are modest and this site remains tiny regardless if the number is 600 or 1600, these numbers have a huge impact on the search awards. This month had hundreds less search terms to peruse. That means that I had to work what I had. With options diminished, I was forced to go for shock value over wit. This means that I’ve let a bit more incest and bestiality slip into the top 30. With that said, enjoy:
30. clothing of the holy lands
29. old world rat skull
28. duck holding shotgun
27. free rottweiler mating movies
26. mastrubating walk public town
25. singing embryo video
24. google videos american prostitudes fucking
23. crystal clear family fucking
22. name checks fbi november 2007
21. fanning in underwear
20. boss beam boring machine
19. nude lady vagina with hair
18. creepiest cat signs
17. inside elephant vagina pictures
16. caught son eating own cum
15. kid dies from mastrubating
14. mastrubating with dad
13. dancing pecker
12. free pierced nipples
11. rhinoceros mating bestiality
10. how much are clowns paid in ringley brothers circus
9. suicide pigeons
8. falcon cock porn
7. goth pony
6. chimps attack
5. minimalist christmas tree
4. crack whore repellent
3. verbal communication amish
2. bigfoot fucking females on porn
1. korean screaming pussy
