RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

There are many ways I can judge Vetri. Half a month’s rent is one. Gas costs for a 7,000 mile drive in a Prius is another. (mainly highway) But these things are unimportant. Vetri has been called one of the best Italian restaurants in North America by publications like Bon Appetit and Gourmet Magazine and by chefs like Mario Batali. Even if I can only justify a trip every 4 or 5 years, it’s worth every penny.

I go with just one rule. When you go, you’ve got to go all the way. Failing this rule will leave you with a good, but incomplete experience. Going all the way means the 5 (or if you live by Batali’s motto “excess is just barely enough” the 7) course tasting menu paired with wines chosen by the restaurant. No restrictions either. If they want to feed you foie gras stuffed sweetbreads wrapped in a pork kidney and served over braised baby goat, then let them.

Last Thursday I went with my girlfriend. (we split the bill) Here’s my assessment:

As we walked in the door, the restaurant already had a big strike against it. I’d hyped the dinner up so thoroughly and for so long, that it would be nearly impossible for it to live up to my lofty praises.

Then came a huge miss. Whether it was due to a pacing problem in the kitchen or because of a room full of unusually slow diners, Vetri was backed up. We arrived within 5 minutes of our reservation, but our table was just getting desert. Co-owner Jeff Benjamin looked angry. He paced around for a while before disappearing into a vestibule door. We didn’t see him for the rest of the night. As we waited, more parties arrived only to find their tables still occupied.

More than half an hour later, we sat down. Seconds after that came a platter of complimentary cured meats. With one taste, my annoyance melted away like the lardo on my tongue. In all, there were 2 pieces each of 9 or so varieties of pancetta, prosciutto, sausage and various other things I’d never seen or tasted before. Like most everything at Vetri, all was produced on site.

Amazingly, the deficit dug by the hype and the wait were nearly obliterated with just a few small pieces of pork. Then came the official 5 course tasting menu… + an extra pasta dish, + an extra entrée, + a desert course, + a second desert plate… In the end, we could hardly walk home, but:

It all started light. Light wine, light dish. As the courses kept coming, the food and wine grew heavier and more complex. The pairings were perfect and the momentum of the menu carried it along brilliantly. As our 5 course-tasting menu was expanded to 7-8 courses and 6 glasses of wine, early problems worked to our advantage.

Here’s a basic run-down:

1. Cured Meats paired with local, roasted vegetables. Discussed above. (beautiful)

2. Crudo del giorno: Antipasti plate of raw fish (forget what kind) microgreens, sweet onion, blood orange. (excellent)

3. Seared Nantucket bay scallops over a celery root salad. (brilliant)

4. Split appetizer course:

- For her: Brown onion crepe, white truffle inside. (****!)

- For me: Cauliflower flan, egg yolk and black truffle inside, topped with crispy pancetta. (****!)

5. Split pasta course:

- For her: Spinach gnocchi, one of Vetri’s signature dishes.

- For me: I have no idea what type of pasta I ate, but it was the best pasta I’ve ever had. Words fail to describe.

- A plate of beet ravioli to share.
(all pasta was transcendental)

6. And then the entrée. Here’s what the New York Times said about the guinea hen late last year:

I couldn’t work my way through as much of the menu as I do when I review a New York restaurant and visit more frequently. But most of what I ate was wonderful, suggesting to me that Vetri ranks with the very best Italian restaurants in New York… And of that guinea hen, so incredibly tender, and stuffed with not only prosciutto but also foie gras and a mixture including ground thigh meat, innards, nutmeg and pistachio.

- We both got the guinea hen, but a small third plate of rabbit and snail spiedino with parsnip brown butter crema was put in the middle of the table for us to share.

7. And then after the grapefruit sorbetto was desert.

- For her: Chocolate soufflé with some kind of gelato… I think.

- For me: Walnut Tart with olive oil gelato. (Amazing)

- After desert, they brought us a tray of bite size sweets.

With each course, wine was paired perfectly. All was Italian and I don’t remember enough about each one to try to talk about them here.

At the end of the night came the bill. Few places are so completely worth it.

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* one other thing that I’d like to say. When we sat down, the couple next to us was Italian. So was the family sitting next to them. When the couple next to us left another Italian woman sat down with her boyfriend. When I say Italian, I mean that one or all of the people at the table spoke Italian. In an Italian restaurant, I take that as a good sign.

** one other thing. The dining room is comfortable and intimate. As long as the place isn’t overtly unpleasant I don’t care much about the whole ambiance dimension. Vetri isn’t a Stephen Starr restaurant and all I can say is thank god for that.