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Last week talk at work turned to Steven Seagal. The conversation made me wonder what he’s been up to since “Under Siege,” so I hopped on over to StevenSegal.com for an update. It turns out he’s doing pretty well for himself. Did you know that he’s been in 4 movies this year?
He also has 2 CD’s, with classics like, My Time is Numbered, (?) Alligator Ass (Someone took me to a restaurant / and I had to eat something fast / I ordered me some chicken / They gave me alligator ass / Now you see why / I have a suspicious mind) and my personal favorite, Talk To My Ass (I went back home last night / I told my baby to get on up the road / Well she looked at me kinda surprised / Suddenly she not so cold / I told her I can’t no more sass / And from now on she can talk to my ass)
Aside from his film and music careers, he also teaches Martial Arts and is set to release his own line of energy drinks. But best of all are his philanthropic endeavors. Why? Because the philanthropy section of his website has this picture on it:
A little research revealed that the Panda shot is from a trip that Mr. Seagal took to Tibet. For a more complete and totally awesome slideshow of the trip, visit HimalayanExpeditions.com. I highly recommend that site.
Here we go again. It’s time for the June Search Awards. These 25 strings of text are the most bizarre search terms that led people to this site in last month. I hope nobody found what they were looking for…. Except for number 17.
25. riot threads duffle bag
24. sexual predator in strawberry mansion area
23. www.aghfanistan sex.com
22. vagina creempie eater
21. mastrubating kangaroo
20. claws ripping
19. air rifle target practice in bars of soap
18. cruising spots and berks county and blow job
17. urinals peep holes
16. diane keller nude
15. what does michael jackson look like
14. pussy birthing
13. hot rectum
12. demonic love
11. lude gestures
10. today i spent 2 hours caught in a fuckin’ traffic jam coming back from work as i sat in the fuckin’ snarl watchin’ the faces of other drivers who looked like they were ready to break stuff i realised that how every single fuckin’ thing
9. humourus garden statues drunken clown
8. doily meaning origin and the person behind and place where it originated
7. finger method for peeing
6. motel strap on
5. she takes a fever thermometer into my rectum
4. white vinegar and valium withdrawal
3. attacks while i am sleeping can’t move demon intercourse chills up spine
2. dovate on genitals
1. tits they’re fucking awesome
This post comes via Geekadelphia, via Phillyist, but just in case you haven’t seen it, Septa has traded in its moderately honest old slogans like this:
With a new brutally honest one:
I just discovered google search trends and I love it. While I’m not a sociologist, the assumed insights and questions raised by the raw data are incredibly valuable. But first, what is google search trends? It’s a graphical presentation of popular search terms, plotted over time. It throws in a couple other helpful bits of geographical information, but that’s about it.
After a few minutes of random searches, I decided to plod through trends in modern racism. Probably because of turning opinion about the Iraq war feeding into the need for conspiracy theories, there appeared to be a huge spike in anti-semitism in 2004. Look at the graphs for ‘jew’ and ‘protocols of the elders of zion’ during that time:
***
But then again, look at the top 10 cities that searched for the word ‘jew’ in 2004:
1. New York, NY, USA
2. Petah Tiqwa, Israel
3. Philadelphia, PA, USA
4. Los Angeles, CA, USA
5. San Francisco, CA, USA
6. Miami, FL, USA
7. Chicago, IL, USA
8. Washington, DC, USA
9. Boston, MA, USA
10. Atlanta, GA, USA
In case you’re unfamiliar with the shaking out of the whole diaspora, almost all of those cities have very large Jewish populations. So is it Jewish people who are obsessed with these search terms? Although data for 2004 specifically isn’t available, you see the same general results with the ‘protocols’ search. The exception with that search result is a huge popularity of the protocols in Australia. With only 5% of the world’s Jewish population in that country, maybe there’s some real hate in that result. Or maybe not. Like I said, I’m not a sociologist.
In other news, “2 girls 1 cup” peaked and is in decline (thank god) while “Paris Hilton” - who hit her undeniable peak of internet buzz with the release of her 2004 sex tape - has struggled since then, and is beginning to taper off completely. Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:
Or maybe I’m just reading the data optimistically.
