RESURRECT DEAD ON PLANET JUPiTER

Occasionally, my place of employment attracts minor celebrities and future Kings of England. Last week, it was minor celebrities. Apparently Jane Seymour, (better known as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman) is a big fan of public art. Who knew?

Here’s a quick, crappy shot I took with the incredibly annoying Canon XT that we have in the office.

Far more excitingly, here’s a photo (taken by Paul Loftland) of Mayor Nutter with Baltimore City State Senator Clay Davis. Both were at our annual fundraiser. While Wikipedia calls Senator Davis a “fictional character” and refers to him as actor “Isiah Whitlock, Jr.” fans of The Wire and citizens of any corrupt American City beg to differ. I mean, there he is with the Mayor. And Nutter is real, right? Think of Senator Davis as the Vince Fumo of West Baltimore.

I’m knee deep in work, but I had to share this. Best headline ever:

Great tits cope well with warming

At least one of Britain’s birds appears to be coping well as climate change alters the availability of a key food.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) commented that other species are likely to fare much worse than great tits as temperatures rise.

When I was just a wee child, City Hall was the tallest building in Philadelphia. Being a kid, I judged it to be about as tall as the Empire State Building. I was also under the flawed understanding that the Society Hill Towers were generally the same size as the World Trade Center. As I got older, I realized that my sense of space and proportion had been a little bit off.

But anyway, during the 20th century, while downtown centers bloomed and economies exploded in places like New York and Chicago, Philadelphia reacted a little differently. Instead of embracing urban growth, the city treated it like some kind of danger, stifling it before it could sink the dangerous teeth of success and prosperity into the hearts of ordinary Philadelphians.

And so for more than 8 decades developers agreed not to build anything taller than William Penn’s hat. With limited downtown real estate, the only place you can build is up. In Philadelphia you couldn’t do that. For decades, the city’s downtown sat around like a stagnant larvae infested puddle.

That’s why yesterday’s HUGE announcement of the American Commerce Center is so un-fucking-believable. While Philadelphia broke the City Hall gentleman’s agreement in the mid-80’s, we still shy away from thinking and acting really, really big.

But ACC is really, god damn big. Take the newly completed Comcast Center and put City Hall on top of it. Give or take a foot or 2… it’s that big. As a matter of perspective it’s taller than the Empire State Building, it’s taller than the WTC (RIP) it’s taller than the Sears Tower. If it appeared today, it would be the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. By the time of its hypothetical completion, it will be the 3rd tallest.

What does this mean? Actually it means quite a bit. One 1500’ tower would do a lot to change how people view the city. Perception brings money. So do 1500’ towers. The building would become an icon. People would want to locate to it, work in it, spend money in it, live near it. It’s more an investment than a skyscraper.

And recession, depression or whatever, it actually might happen. As the Philadelphia Business Journal noted today:

Walnut Street Capital, a Philadelphia development company, and a pension fund from Washington state are allying to develop the project. The pension fund, which has $6.18 billion in assets, is financing the project, Miller said. This enables the project to skirt around the current credit crunch that is starting to put a damper on commercial projects.

Finally I can’t end this without mentioning that this story broke on phillyskyline.com. Brad Maule scooped absolutely everyone in getting word out on this yesterday. If and when this building does get built, you heard it from him first. Although a few blocks to the northwest of its proposed location here’s an approximate view of the new tower from Brad’s house:

Thanks to Drew Mathes at the skyscraper page forum for the rendering and Brad for the original photo.

In the mid 20’s Pole-Sitting swept the nation. Much as the name suggests, Pole-Sitting was the popular pastime of sitting on top of a pole for extended periods of time. What I’m saying is, fads come and go.

The start of 2008 has seen the emergence of 2 such crazes. I’m of course talking about Neti Pots and ball waxing.

Before I go on about these things I have to say in no uncertain terms:

1. The Neti Pot is a good idea. I’ve considered using one for years, but have never actually gotten one. I – like many Americans – suffer from sinus problems. Each morning I use a sterol saline spray and recommend that you do the same. Although I don’t use a Neti Pot, I hold no ill will towards anyone who does.

2. Ball shaving/waxing is wrong. Just wrong.

But anyway, what do these fads say about us collectively?

Neti Pots have that air of nonwestern medicine to them. Why spray a physically addictive chemical steroid into your head when an ancient little pot from some place full of aged and wise nonwhites does a better, cheaper and healthier job? Sounds like a good idea, no? It does… but not $25 Neti Pot from Whole Foods good. How can you not feel like an asshole buying that?

Ball Shaving: At my office Christmas party a non-colleague who happened to be hanging out in the same bar tried to pick up my co-worker. Along with his refusal to share his name and his casual acknowledgment of the girlfriend he was trying to cheat on, part of his game was slipping in how he shaves his balls to make his penis look bigger. It’s a line few men can pull off and smooth sack went home alone that night.

Since I was caught in the crossfire of his unique pick-up attempt, I pressed him a little on the ball shaving. Apparently it’s quite popular among the 20-something condo set. Who knew?

Since that night, I haven’t gone 3 days without hearing about ball waxing in the popular media. After a little research I discovered that (as I suspected) the whole fucking thing started in LA. The ungodly nexus of porn culture, mass media and David Beckham’s waxed nutsack just couldn’t be stopped. Now engineers down at Comcast and “accountants, stockbrokers, teachers, boxers, models” in London are getting “Boyzillians.”

I kind of miss Pole-Sitting.

That’s a real photo of Saturn there. The Cassini spacecraft got this shot by putting Saturn between it and the sun. Gorgeous. Now for the first time, that same Cassini spacecraft has recorded and returned music from the homeland of Sun Ra. As the Wired blog notes:

NASA recently published several audio recordings collected during the Cassini-Huygens space probe’s exploration of the Saturnian system, and it couldn’t sound more like a theremin-laden soundtrack to a 2001: A Space Odyssey… Saturn is a source of intense radio emissions that are generated along with the auroras of the planet’s poles — similar to Earth’s northern and southern lights.

Full story and link to Saturn’s music are here.

For months I’ve wanted to go to the little Korean shack out at 69th street. For avid readers of this site, you’ll remember my description of little white shack as one of the best Korean restaurants in the Philly area.

It’s an extremely nondescript building found wedged the middle of a parking lot out in the middle of a trolley turnaround a couple blocks past 69th and Market. I’ve been told that the name of the restaurant is Pojangmacha. I don’t really know how to pronounce it and have no idea what it means. All I know is that Pojangmacha has some of the nicest owners and best pajeon (seafood pancake) I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

The restaurant itself has half a dozen booths and a diner style counter with the kitchen behind it. Everything is made to order by the owner and her husband. They have a liquor license and stay open late. The owner speaks very little English, and I speak no Korean, but she’s extremely warm and surprisingly communicative with a few words and a lot of gesturing. This helps, because all signage and the carved wood menus are all in Korean.

But sadly, Pojangmacha is no more.

After months of craving I finally went for dinner a few Saturday’s ago. It was great as usual and my girlfriend was loving it as much as I was. Just as I was settling into the happy thought that I’d be enjoying many more meals there, the owner came to the table and announced that after 17 years, it was their last night in business.

My old co-worker, who introduced me to the restaurant and was well aware of its impending demise was sitting at a table behind me. It was his 4th visit in 8 days. When we caught up a few days later, he told me that they were shutting down because of this redevelopment plan:

See that green space? That’s where one of the best Korean restaurants in the tri-state area used to be. After the announcement, the meal got a little depressing. I still gorged myself, but damn. It got even worse when a very large man appeared and started yelling in his cell phone about the place still being open and how they were supposed to have left the night before. He said something to the owner about changing the locks on Wednesday, paced around for a while and disappeared out the door.

At the time, the fat man became a Disney-style villain. I thought that maybe he owned the parking lot and was forcing the couple out so that he could add a few more parking spaces or build some crappy condos.

Later I learned that he was a local councilman, instrumental in keeping them open as long as he could. So he wasn’t so bad after all. But unfortunately, as long as he could was weeks ago. The owner mentioned some loose plans about opening a spot in center city. If they ever do, they’ll blow the competition out of the water. Here’s hoping.

(John) Kerry, all the while attempting to continue his address, is drowned out by the man’s screams and the clicking of the electrical gun.

The BBC reported today that homo sapiens edged closer to total victory in the ancient battle for terran ape supremacy. Today’s report notes that Gorilla and Orangutan populations hover on the brink of species collapse and ultimately, total extinction.

Like the Wal Mart of the Great Apes, human beings stand proudly atop a diminishing list of competing species. While human action has led in large part to the annihilation of inferior monkeys, apes themselves are also to blame.

A recent report put the Ebola death toll among Africa’s lowland gorillas at nearly 5,000. Comparatively, a continuing outbreak among humans in the Democratic Republic of the Congo has killed less than 200 individuals. Better understanding, preparedness and post-infection actions undertaken by homo sapiens has spared our species a death toll similar to that of the subordinate loser ape populations.

While the victory against gorillas and orangutans should be praised, today’s triumphs pale in comparison to the ancient battles against competing hominids. Most revered is the human suppression and eventual eradication of the Neanderthal menace some 25,000 years ago. Likely able of verbal communication and equipped with larger brains than modern man, the destruction of the Neanderthals may be humankinds greatest victory.

Other extinct hominids include homo heidelbergensis, homo erectus and homo antecessor. While not a hominid or an ape, the elimination of the Yangtze River Dolphin should also be noted among mankind’s achievements.

The abandoned Gypsum factory near Bartram’s Garden has been demolished. Most of these photos were taken there.

Here’s a video:

Many years ago a little known collaboration between DJ Man-E of Germantown and fellow G-town-born Solomon “MC King Solomon” Masch resulted in one of the greatest comedy rap albums in the history of the world. Unless you know DJ Man-E, or King Solomon personally, you probably never heard of it. I’ve known both of them since I myself was a small child living in Germantown, so I was among the privileged few.

Now you too can enjoy a sampling of these cherished tracks. The album covers genres from West Coast (Gangsta’ Pony Ride) and Booty rap (Smell the Booty) to whatever the fuck it is that Korn plays (Rippin’ off Your Testicles) and more. These songs and more will be available at the bottom of this post. Listening is mandatory… even if you think it sounds stupid and don’t want to download these songs, I absolutely guarantee that if you do, you will laugh. Out loud. Really.

But why do I bring this up now? DJ Man-E and King Solomon are back in the studio recording a second album. It’s set to drop sometime later this year. I’ll remind you when it does. That’s all for now.

[Gangsta’ Pony Ride]
[Smell the Booty]
[Rippin’ off Your Testicles]
[Buttnaked]

Report: Principal arrested while naked, watching gay porn

By Pamela Lehman and Steve Esack
The Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.)

BETHLEHEM, Pa. - When police entered the office of Nitschmann Middle School Principal John Acerra to arrest him for allegedly selling crystal methamphetamine, they found the 50-year-old educator naked and watching gay pornography with sex toys nearby, sources say.

Police also found a glass drug pipe and $200 in marked money on the desk, just minutes after a confidential informant wearing a wire arranged to buy meth from Acerra about 6 p.m. Tuesday, officials said. [rest of story]

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. An economist walks into a room where his wife is wrapping Christmas presents and bludgeons her to death. Wait… that’s not very funny. OK, how about this one. A Wharton Professor is caught masturbating to videos of himself having sex with underage boys in his Ivy League office… No… no… no, that’s terrible, awful. Library office? No! Umh… ok. A Penn Neurosurgeon sexually assaults one of his stude… Jesus Fucking Christ.

So The University of Penn has been having some trouble with its professors, what with the student rape, child porn and wife killing. And they say once you get tenure you can get away with anything.

But seriously, where does it end? An Engineering professor doing a drive-by in the quad? A meth crazed Penn Vet having his way with a physically compromised Barbaro?

I actually worked at and went to that esteemed University over a grueling span of 6 years. I used to hear the students warning one another not to “go past 42nd street.” While this never bothered me (mainly because it meant I didn’t have to deal with them that much past the 42nd street “danger zone”) I’m thinking that maybe they should start watching their backs in those creepy old buildings in the ever expanding Penn Empire.

So I’ve been seeing that crazy commercial about net neutrality paid for by the National Cable and Telecommunications Association. Here’s something really brief that someone by the handle of Ergasiophobia wrote over at /..

“It seems the National Cable & Telecommunications Association is spreading a blatant lie in the form of a commercial claiming that the net neutrality act will cost the consumer more and that it is ‘bad’ for the consumer. This, of course, ignores how much the cable companies will profit from the act’s defeat. For some truthful information on the net neutrality act check out savetheinternet.com”

I disagree with one point above. They commercial doesn’t really lie. Lying implies that a something was actually said. The commercial merely calls net neutrality “mumbo jumbo.” Mumbo Jumbo is simply defined as: “the guardian of western Sudan villages symbolized by a masked man who combats evil and punishes women for breaches of tribal laws.”

Or in this case, it’s more likely defined as: “meaningless incantation or ritual.” So like Lynn Swann’s campaign platform, the commercial is a bunch of words that mean absolutely nothing. I could say the commercial is “mumbo jumbo” but that would just be a stupid punchline. Really it just plays to that great human combination of massive ignorance and relative stupidity. But that’s not a good punchline either. Why not just watch the ad: [link]

I don’t love my job that much, but here again I’m talking about the things we’re doing at Mural Arts. Today was the big old local media event at Ben Franklin High School.

If you’ve been by Broad and Spring Garden in the last few months, you’ve probably noticed several giant pairs of eyes staring down from the southern façade of the school. The mural is a partnership between the Mural Arts Program, the Philadelphia Inquirer’s editorial board and the (embattled) Department of Human Services. The project brought together an enormous and improbable range of individuals in an attempt to reach for several lofty and grand ideals in an effort do massive good. The measure of its success is written across approximately 365 feet of wall. Below are a few photos from today’s event. Here’s a [link] to an article in today’s Inquirer.

The first two images show the mural itself. The third image shows Jane Golden through the eye of a local Fox News camera and the fourth is of the Artist, Don Gensler and Inquirer editorial board facilitator… I forget her name. (I claim bloggers rights in not giving name credit where it is due, due to lack of memory and effort)

As I’ve been mentioning for a couple weeks, today marks the 31st anniversary of Arnold Toynbee’s molecules turning dead in anticipation of their future reassembly on the gigantic Planet of Jupiter!

It’s also the 10th anniversary of the self-inflicted immolation of West Philly legend (?) Kathy Change.  [Go to an event today]
October 18th marked the deployment of the Galileo spacecraft, which was the first human engineered spacecraft to reach Jupiterian orbit.

Months ago, when the Philadelphia Mural Arts Program showed an exhibit of artwork from inmates at Graterford prison, one artist clearly stood out. He went by the name Spel. I encourage everyone to go out and grab a copy of this week’s Philadelphia Weekly and read the cover story. It’s about Spel and Mural Arts. They go back a long way.
By far, the best thing about working for Mural Arts, is working Mural Arts. It’s something very special. For whatever kind of day I have at work, I never, ever question the importance or the validity of what we do. It’s genuinely amazing.

I haven’t written fake news in a while… but.

Years ago, I remember seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger on Arsenio Hall. He jokingly told Arsenio that the real, Austrian way to pronounce his name was “Schwartze-nigger” and that, (it’s been a long time and I don’t remember his exact words) “we have more in common than you thought.” It was those comments that inspired me to re-work the following Reuters article. [original article here]

Schwarzenegger tells Leno link to Bush is “ridiculous”
By Steve Gorman/Steve Weinik

LOS ANGELES - California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger distanced himself from President George W. Bush on national television on Wednesday, saying he was as far from his fellow Republican as he was from winning an Academy Award during his film career.

“To link me to George Bush is like linking me to an Oscar. That’s ridiculous.” the former bodybuilder and Hollywood action star joked during an appearance on NBC’s “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.” “You know why, you know why?” Schwarzenegger continued. “Like my father said, you will never win an Oscar in Hollywood. The Jewish people” he said while tapping his nose with his index finger, “will never allow me to play anything but evil cyborg or kindergarten teacher. I could do Shakespeare.” Schwarzenegger insisted. “The White House, it is now the same way. The neoconservatives, the Jews, they control everything now. Do I look like a Jew? That’s ridiculous.”

The Governor’s remarks, which were met with silence from the audience and an uncomfortable joke about Mel Gibson from Leno, have set off a firestorm of controversy that the Schwarzenegger campaign has struggled to contain. “The Governor’s remarks were intended as a joke. The Governor harbors no animosity towards the Jewish faith or its people.” Spoke Schwarzenegger’s spokesman, Hans Reich, III at a hastily convened Wednesday morning press conference.

It was Schwarzenegger’s fifth guest spot on the late-night comedy show since he used a 2003 appearance on the program to announce his first campaign for public office in 2003. The remarks re-ignited questions about the Schwarzenegger family’s ties to the Nazi party during the Second World War.

The governor’s Democratic challenger in his bid for a second term, state Treasurer Phil Angelides, complained NBC was snubbing him while unfairly giving Schwarzenegger, “a clear nazi sympathizer” valuable media exposure weeks before the election.

A spokesman for the Angelides campaign accused NBC of violating federal rules that generally require broadcasters to give opposing candidates equal time. The Angelides “nazi sympathizer” remarks have forced the campaign into full damage control mode.

“Not only does Angelides seek to control the content of what you see on late night television, he seeks to control the speech and content of those programs as well.” Spoke Reich at Wednesday’s press conference.

A Fox News poll shows that California voters do side with Schwarzenegger’s free-speech platform by a 2-1 margin over Angelides policy of censorship and increased restrictions on public speech.

“What we have here is a clear blunder by the Democratic Party of California, really the Democratic Party at large.” Remarked Tony Snow when asked about the Schwarzenegger/Angelides controversy during Wednesday’s White House Press conference. “The Democrats are a threat to the Constitution and to the liberties guaranteed in that Constitution. I think that much is clear.”

I heard the president trying to pass the blame off on North Korea’s nuclear status on the Clinton administration. I am only one man and I have little time for research. Therefore let me refer you to a fun and informative video. The people at Frontline are many and well resourced. Please watch this episode regarding both administrations approaches towards NK. It’s broken down into manageable shorter videos.  [link]

This evening I discovered that at some point, my cable hook-up started re-allowing the Fox News Channel. I was so happy. I love watching Fox News. As icing on the cake, I discovered this miracle at the beginning of the O’Reilly’s Factor. Don’t ask me how, but the Factor is somehow it’s worse than it used to be.

Highlights were most definitely his immigration coverage. He set the stage with his least offensive piece, a short bit on the new security fence along the border. (Keep in mind I said least offensive not inoffensive.) What followed the fence story, and I’ll use his words in “”’s here: Video (repeated over and over) of 2 “Latino Girls” “attacking” and “Anglo” girl. He warned that more of this was coming and described the problem of single mother’s in the Latino community in the United States as “mirroring the African American problem.” The African American wha…? Someone get that man a white sheet.

My love of Fox News soon waned and I switched back over to Keith Olbermann who was running through the remaining valid amendments in our Bill of Rights after Jefe Bush’s recent destruction of Habeas Corpus. It turns out that only amendment 3 really stands anymore, or in case you forgot:

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Begin here:

A KANSAS church group that planned to demonstrate at the funerals of five Amish girls killed in an attack on their one-room schoolhouse has dropped the picket plans, after Pennsylvania’s Governor offered the Amish police protection.

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church issued a statement saying a representative would appear on a nationally syndicated radio talk show instead of picketing the funerals.

Governor Ed Rendell said he appealed to the group, based in Topeka, Kansas, to allow the Amish to conduct their funerals in privacy.

Members of the church group routinely picket military funerals, saying that American servicemen and women are dying overseas because God is displeased that the United States tolerates homosexuals.

In a statement on its website, the church blamed Mr Rendell for the deaths of the Amish children because of comments he made about the Westboro group on national television several months ago.

“They’re insane,” Mr Rendell responded when asked about the group’s statement.

Go back to beginning.

[rest of article]